


So, how do you say kiss me?

by LexieMaiWrites



Category: Fence (Comics)
Genre: (high key), ? - Freeform, Boys In Love, Clueless Boys, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I hope you like it!, Light Angst, M/M, Seiji is soft, They dont know it though, and i am low key, anyway, be happy and here's a fic, but i didnt want to post all the chapters together cause that's kind of cheating, but would welcome any pointers you might have, featuring nick's crazy thought process, get ready for the crazy, i feel like this could just go on and on, i just didn't feel right to post it as a one shot, i love these boys, imma just say, ish, like he's also kinda mean, my first ever for this fandom, nick perspective, obsessed, oh btw it's all written imma be uploading every day, so go easy, so that i may improve, they are adorable, this is my second ever fic, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-07 11:41:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19084309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexieMaiWrites/pseuds/LexieMaiWrites
Summary: Nick has a small problem, and it's that when he watches Seiji fence, he gets this *feeling*.





	1. Allez

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello! I am new (ish) to this fandom and I wrote this to help me deal with my addiction and my withdrawal symptoms while I wait for volume four of Fence. This fandom needs more fics. I've read all of these now. Some of them more than once. I need moreeee. So yah. I'm new at all this so I welcome any pointers and I'll be updating every day as long as technology works in my favour. Enjoyyy

It had all started so well. Nick was in the team! He’d made it despite what those boys had said at regionals. Despite Seiji’s constant suggestion that he would never be good enough. Nick had proved them all wrong. But that was before things had started _going_ wrong. Fencing was still fine, but an issue had emerged that was more than a little concerning for Nick. The annoying thing was, the problem had always been there, it had just taken Nick a while to notice. Well. A week. But who was counting, right? Nick had been watching an internal match between Seiji and Harvard. It was the fourth time he had watched one of Seiji’s bouts. Nick made a point of going to as many of them as he could make it to, in order to learn Seiji’s style. Nick realised that, not for the first time, he found himself being caught up in Seiji’s movement. Instead of looking for patterns, he was simply watching the shapes that Seiji made in the air. It was as if his mind was breaking down Seiji’s movement into snap shots. The tilt of his chin as his back straightened while stepping into Harvards guard. The line of his back as he lunged forward. The precise placement of his foot as he conceded a single step of ground in order to block one of Harvard’s attacks. Nick found himself trying to commit to memory each stance, as if he wanted to draw them. Or better yet, just keep them in his head all to himself. It was worse once he was pulled into the moment. Seiji’s skill took his breath away. To have that much control over an epee. The power was a rush. It was like the swell and break of waves on a cliff face, the feeling just as a song reached its climax. _He’s so good it hurts_ . That had been Nicks first thought when he had seen Seiji fence for the first time since their bout at regionals. As he watched Seiji move, pushing Harvard to the end of the piste, he thought it again. _He’s so good it hurts_. The feeling was sudden. It came just as he watched Seiji score on Harvard with a stunning riposte. An ache in his chest, like a living thing with claws. It snatched his breath and made his eyes prick. Nick had no idea what it was. Jealousy? It must be. A weird, scratchy type of jealousy that felt kind of painful. It couldn’t possibly be anything else.

* * *

 

A week or so passed and Nick didn’t think so much on it. It must have been a one off. In any case, Seiji was behaving the same as he ever had outside the Salle, and it was enough to put all of Nick’s thoughts of scratchy jealousy to bed. On Monday he’d sniped at Nick for being a messy _andouille._ Nick made a point of not looking it up. He didn’t think things would be remotely improved by his knowing what rude things Seiji was calling him in French. On Tuesday it was _idiot_. Nick really didn’t need to translate that one. As Nick sat on his bed procrastinating, he let his mind wander. As usual it landed on Seiji. Nick was noticing patterns of insults. _Insufferable_ was Seiji’s favourite word. Seiji usually put emphasis on the ‘S’, and used more breath than sound. It had the unfortunate side effect of sounding a little sexy. Nick froze. Where had _that_ come from? Perhaps he should try and write that essay on Faustus after all. On the hardships of having to live with the devil. _Boy,_ could Nick relate.

He’d made it to the third paragraph when Seiji came in. Nick noted that he was sweaty, probably from a run, and his hair was damp and all over the place. “Sexy”, he commented without thinking. Seiji froze. Nick froze too. He cleared his throat. “I meant, you should probably get showered before assembly”. If he’d looked up from Faustus, he would have noticed some pink in Seiji’s cheeks, but instead he only looked up in time to see Seiji recover and give him a nasty look.

“What did you think I was going to do, Zero?”. Seiji grabbed a towel and stalked to the bathroom.

“Just a typical interaction in the Nickeiji family household”, Nick said under his breath, mostly to amuse himself. That was usually how it went between them.

Usually. Nick didn’t really have a way to reconcile _that_ Seiji with the one he occasionally spoke to at night. Night time conversations were strictly forbidden, for two reasons. Reason number one was that Seiji had the mind and soul of an old man with rheumatoid arthritis and held them to a strict night time regime so that he could get the right amount of sleep. Nick wasn’t that fussed about reason number one. Reason number two was far more important. Nick couldn’t allow night time conversations because they disturbed the delicate balance that he and Seiji had perfected. Both would hate the other in near silence and neither would take offence at the other’s insults. In the salle, Nick would threaten to beat Seiji and Seiji would say some variation of _in your pathetic dreams_ and things would carry on as normal. Night time conversations fell under neither category. They were dangerous and Nick was terrified to realise that he enjoyed them.

* * *

 

It was the night before a big match for Seiji. Relatively big, anyway. The 9th ranked fencer in the country, a home-schooled New-Yorker called Reggie, would be travelling to Kings Row for a ‘friendly’. It was essentially a chance for him to practice before Nationals. Nick found, as he thought about it, that he couldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t even be fencing tomorrow, but his mind just wouldn’t let him rest. Perhaps a distraction? _No._ Night time conversations were forbidden. Nick couldn’t give in… but what if Seiji was kept awake by his tossing and turning? Surely it would be better to have a short conversation that would lull them both to sleep? Yeah. It couldn’t hurt. “Seiji?”, Nick stage-whispered. He didn’t get a response, but that was normal. “I can’t sleep”.

“I can”, came the standard reply. Nick grinned. That was how they always started.

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?”, Nick asked him.

“No. Why would I be? I’m the best fencer here.”

“Oh, sorry”, Nick deadpanned “I forgot that feelings were for untalented people. Mea culpa.”

Seiji sniffed. “I’m surprised you even know that phrase.”

“Uh, duh”, said Nick. “It’s in the bible.”

“You’re religious?”. Seiji sounded interested now. Nick could hear the surprise and curiosity in his voice. He snorted.

“Nah. I know it from a tv show”.

“Which one?”

Nick said nothing. Seiji didn’t need to know he’d heard it on Disney Channel.

“I guess”, Seiji said after a pause, “I am a bit nervous. Not for the match, I know I’ll win”, Nick snorted at that. “but for the people here at Kings Row. I still have a lot to prove to them”. There was a short silence. Nick hadn’t thought about how much pressure people at Kings Row were putting on Seiji. Half of them were resentful, while all of everyone else expected Seiji to help them beat Exton. It was… a lot.

“You have nothing to prove to them, Seiji”. Nick didn’t know why he felt the need to comfort Seiji, but he supposed he’d done stranger things. “They couldn’t do what you do. Not just your talent, but how hard you work. Your regime could kill a normal man.” Nick could hear Seiji listening, because all sounds from the other side of the curtain had stopped completely. “Fence for yourself tomorrow, and you’ll do fine”. He felt silly saying it, but it was sound advice.

Seiji didn’t say anything for a while. Then “you say that like you needed to hear it at one point”.

“Yeah”, Nick exhaled on a laugh. He blushed, though there was no one to see him. “Coach said that to me the day before my match with Aiden”.

“Coach is… good at giving advice”. It was as close to a thank you as Nick was going to get.

“You’re welcome”, he said. Seiji snorted. Nick fell asleep that night smiling.


	2. Fleche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still here? Thank you! Hope you like it!

Reggie arrived the next morning. His match wasn’t until the afternoon though, so Nick didn’t have an excuse to miss class. It meant he was struggling through math, while his mind was elsewhere, thinking about the afternoon. Reggie had come to fence Aiden, Harvard and Seiji. Nick didn’t even have a match, but he hadn’t missed one of Seiji’s matches since tryouts. He told himself it was because he wanted to become familiar with Seiji’s technique, but if he was really honest, it was more than a little bit because of how much Nick liked watching Seiji fence, even if the scratchy jealousy had become a regular thing. He could deal with that as it came. By the time math was over, Nick was jumping out of his skin and he hightailed it over to the Salle as soon as the bell rang to get a look at the competition. 

 

Nick didn’t like the look of him. He was very tall, so he had a long reach, and his build made him look more suited to breaking coconuts with his head than fencing. He would move slower, but he could make up for that with his reach and with good technique.He clearly  _ had _ made up for it with technique. Ninth nationally was no mean feat. He had come alone but for his coach. In fact, only Harvard’s parents had shown up to watch. Reggie seemed confident, though, and Aiden was very openly checking him out from across the room. Harvard looked a little queasy, but blessedly, Reggie hadn’t noticed or was studiously ignoring Aiden’s gaze. Definitely straight then. No one who was remotely attracted to men wouldn’t find Aiden at least slightly distracting. The matches were due to start soon, and Seiji wasn’t in the room yet. Nick didn’t worry. He knew, like Seiji knew, who would win the day. He thought about the previous bouts of Seiji’s that he’d watched.  Seiji was a force of nature. He was emotionless as a brick wall when he fenced. The only time he ever showed expression in the Salle was before his match, when he looked at Nick. It had become a ritual. Nick had, at first, tried to be subtle when he’d watched Seiji. He’d stand by the wall, or sit on one of the benches, instead of standing right by the piste. Seiji had always picked him out though. At first it was with suspicion. Then surprise. After that it evolved into a quizzical look that he’d always give Nick before every match. It was intense, and Nick had no idea what it meant. Just part of their confusing rivalry he supposed. If Seiji started spouting rubbish about how he looked like Jesse when he watched Seiji’s matches, Nick was sure he’d throw a fit. Or Seiji, out the window. But that hadn’t happened yet, so Nick just left it. It was better than the nasty looks that were his staple. 

 

It was 2.00 pm. The first match was about to start. It was against Aiden, who was looking miffed that Reggie hadn’t caught or returned any of his looks. If Aiden could get under Reggie’s skin, this could be a bloodbath. Turns out, Aiden could. Nick didn’t hear what he was saying, but Reggie seemed easy to rile. He still had his reach, but his techniques suffered in the first third. Aiden came off for the first break with a swagger. He was three points up. Reggie was speaking to his coach. Once they were back on, Reggie’s face had changed. He was determined, but calm. It seemed Aiden’s window of opportunity had closed. After that, Aiden was forced to fence his best. Reggie was just better. Showing his technique, he was an incredibly skilled fencer. Aiden lost 15-9. It had still been a close match. Seiji hadn’t watched. 

 

Reggie prepared to Harvard next. Harvard had been working hard in training and he had improved a lot because he had gotten used to fencing Seiji. His low lines were much neater. Reggie was on form after his warm up against Aiden and his technique was as good as Nick guessed it would be. He left a few gaps because of his slowness, but Harvard couldn’t take advantage of them that easily. Nick was rooting for Harvard, but he felt he already knew the outcome. Reggie was very good.  Harvard’s precise style forced him to call hard on his training, but he had the upper hand throughout the whole match. In the end Harvard lost with 12 points to 15. It was a little disappointing, as Reggie was starting to look smug. He was good, but he didn’t need to be a dick about it. Nick wanted the smile wiped off his face. He caught Reggie’s eye and the boy gave him a wink and a smirk, as if he’d  _ impressed _ Nick. Aiden spluttered in the corner. Nick just grinned back. He would fence Seiji next.

* * *

 

 

Seiji arrived while Reggie was recovering from Harvard’s match. He was already changed and his kit was as pristine as the rest of him. The jacket contoured his shoulders beautiful _ ly what was happening?  _ Nick blinked to clear his head.  _ Not cool brain. _ He removed his eyes from Seiji’s body in his kit and focussed instead on his face. Maybe Nick was imagining it because of their conversation last night, but Seiji did look more tense than usual. While Seiji was putting on his glove and adjusting the velcro Nick walked over to him. His feet seemed to have made the decision before his brain did, so when Seiji looked up at him, he had no idea what he had meant to say. There was an awkward pause.

 

“Um…”, said Nick. Seiji just continued to stare at him. “I...you…”. Nick recovered enough to choke “Good luck, um… Seiji”. Seiji stared at him incredulously. Nick still hadn’t moved. Was he expecting Seiji to respond to him? _ Goddamn it Nick, it’s too late to leave now, you’ve paused for too long. _ The silence stretched and Seiji seemed to realise that Nick was waiting for a reply. 

 

“Uh… thanks”, he said, his cheeks dusting slightly. He seemed flustered. Nick almost wanted to correct him. Like,  _ No, you should actually have frowned at me and then said ‘I don’t need luck’. You did that all wrong. _ Instead, Nick just nodded once, almost like a bow, and left the way he came. He could feel Seiji’s eyes on his back as he walked away. Was he walking normally?  _ Well now he wasn’t! How do you walk, again?  _ Nick thought about all the better ways he could have done that as he tried to correct his gait, which was just getting stranger every second.  _ Wipe that smile off his face, Seiji!  _ Or,  _ He’s a meat-brick, Seiji, you can take him! _ But no. Instead, he settled for ‘um’. Nick tried to shake himself out of it before the upcoming match. He didn’t actually care what Seiji thought anyway. No. So why should he dwell on it? With that, he checked the time and made his way towards the piste.

* * *

 

 

 No one had seen Seiji fence against someone this highly ranked. Not even against Exton, since they had yet to play the team. Half the school had turned up and thus Nick had to fight for a spot on the edge of the piste. Usually he’d stand with Harvard, but he’d gone out for food with his parents and Aiden. Seiji looked unreadable as ever. Reggie looked eager, but also serious. He had never fenced anyone in the top four. You could tell because he didn’t look nervous enough. They were facing each other at either end of the piste. Seiji caught Nicks eye and Nick felt a burst of…  _ something _ . He held Seiji’s gaze until Seiji looked away, expressionless. He walked over to do the weapon check. Salute. Salute.  _ En-garde _ .  _ Prets. Allez! _

  
Seiji moved  _ fast _ . Too fast for Reggie to even see. His reach meant nothing. Seiji neutralised it with his flèche. Seiji moved again, Reggie parried this time, but wasn’t fast enough to go for a touch. He stepped away. Seiji moved him to the end of the piste and scored. And scored. Reggie had recovered some from the initial shock and was now pulling on everything he had learned. Once Reggie was on form, it was brilliant to watch. Nick had to say that he was impressed that Reggie managed to pull it together, but he wasn’t that focussed on the New-Yorker. Seiji had most of his attention. He was moving like water to score against Reggie. His composure remained perfect even as he had to fence harder than he’d had to fence since he’d joined King’s Row. Seiji performed a stunning compound-riposte. He was feinting, he was attacking along all the lines. Nick felt the feeling burgeon in his chest, as he watched Seiji. He moved perfectly, never taking two steps when one would do. His skill was breathtaking. Head turning.  _ He’s so good it hurts _ . It really was hurting. To the point where, when Seiji stepped into Reggies guard and scored in the same time it took Reggie to recover from his parry, Nick felt his eyes pricking. It’s jealousy, Nick told himself. But it was also a kind of irrational pride. Worse than that, it was that Seiji was beautiful when he fenced. Nick’s brain ground to a halt at that.  _ First break! _ Someone called. Nick had to leave. He knew Seiji would win, and the feeling in his chest was breaking his insides. He  _ needed _ to leave. Nick fought his way out of the crowd and made straight for the door, almost running. He made it to the forest in the grounds and collapsed underneath a tree. He thought the feeling would get better once he was no longer watching Seiji. It hadn’t yet.  _ So good it hurts _ .  _ It hurts dammit! _


	3. Parry Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This one is a little shorter than the other two, I just didn't want to chop up the next part, so you're gonna get one fairly short and then one quite long. Thanks if you're still with me! Also shit gets fucked in this one

Nick had to face facts. Yes he was jealous of people fighting Seiji. Yes he was also jealous of Seiji. High key. But Nick knew that that wasn’t all of it. On some level, he  was attracted to Seiji. Ok fine, on all levels. He was just so sexy when he fenced! And his stupid beauty mark, and his stupid hair when he takes the mask off. The muscles of his back when he got changed. Even his voice when he was insulting someone… His french accent. Nick heart did an involuntary flop just thinking about it. All the things that Nick had been studiously ignoring. He couldn’t keep denying it when it was so blatant. He liked Seiji and it was a major problem. Not only did Seiji hate him, but Nick also desperately wanted to beat Seiji. And that was a conflict of interest. A big conflict of interest. He couldn’t… just… fancy Seiji and… still want to beat him. What if he lost interest in beating him? What would that leave him with? And if Seiji were to ever find out! Nick shuddered at the thought. Seiji could never know. That would be the end of him. The feeling in his chest had dissipated, replaced by heavy despair. Nick knew that he had to stop liking Seiji. He had to stop watching all of his bouts, stop talking to him at night and he had to antagonise him. He had to leave his clothes on Seiji’s side of the room. He had to tease him even more, to the point where Seiji couldn’t stand to be around him. Nick thought it probably wouldn’t be so different to how it was now, but… he didn’t  _ want _ that. Nick sighed. He got up and trudged to his dorm. Seiji would be back soon. There was no time like the present to start a fight.

* * *

 

 

It took longer than usual for the key to rattle in the door. Seiji had stayed out. An odd occurrence, seen as Seiji had few friends. He didn’t seem to welcome companionship. Nick was horrified to realise that he had butterflies at the thought of seeing Seiji. He rolled his eyes at himself. Pathetic, really. Seiji walked in then. He was walking more stiffly than normal. His eyes were downcast, instead of their usual cold middle distance. Seiji was upset. Or something. Nick sat up. He forgot about trying to pick a fight. Could Seiji be hurt? Did he  _ lose _ ? Nick didn’t bother to hide the concern on his face, but Seiji didn’t acknowledge him at all. 

 

“Seiji?”, Nick asked tentatively. He got no response. Seiji was behind the curtain now, and Nick couldn’t see him. Nick waited to see if Seiji would say something. When he didn’t even get a catty “what is it zero?”, Nick opened his mouth to try again. Then he shut it. Trying to find out what was up with Seiji would be the exact opposite of trying to stop liking him. So he made a decision. He felt a pang at what he was about to do, but they couldn’t be friends. Not now that he realised how he felt. Nick drew a breath. 

 

“Oh sure!” he said, injecting as much veiled venom into his voice as he could. “Just ignore me! One match at nationals level and now the great Seiji is too good to even acknowledge his roommate. Typical.” It was easy, Nick found. It was exactly the type of thing he would have said at the beginning of the term. And he could feel it working. The shocked silence and the change in the atmosphere from stilted to positively chilly. That wouldn’t do. Nick wanted an explosion, not a Cold War. 

 

“Of course, he was only ranked ninth. Perhaps he wasn’t a big enough challenge. Maybe you’d be in a better mood if Jesse came over here. Finally you’d be able to show us why you’re always so high and mighty.” It was dangerously close to Seiji’s fears that he’d confessed last night. Nick hated himself, but he felt the shift. He was almost there. “Or maybe” Nick continued, with the feeling of walking, smiling, towards his own death, “you’d be happy for a different reason”. 

 

The curtain was ripped from the central partition. The string snapped and suddenly Nick was faced with a very tall, very mad Seiji. “WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?”. Seiji’s face was red and his chest heaved. His voice cracked on the ‘ever’. “Because you couldn’t handle being beaten, like the child you are, you have to give me abuse? And no,  _ Zero _ ”, the word dripped with venom. “He wasn’t a big enough challenge. He was slow and overconfident. I beat him easily, just like I beat everyone else, which you’d know if you’d bothered TO WATCH THE MATCH”. 

 

Seiji stopped then, face going from red to white faster than the point of an epee. It took Nick a moment to realise the implication. He stared. Seiji let out a frustrated roar and crossed to the door in two strides, slamming it behind him as he left. Nick blinked after him.  _ If you’d bothered to watch the match _ . Seiji was mad because he hadn’t stayed to watch the match? That didn’t make any sense… Nick thought about it. To be fair, it was Seiji’s biggest match of the year. And Nick had watched all of his others. Nick suddenly remembered Seiji, standing alone on the last day of try-outs while everyone else greeted their family. Then he thought of himself, turning up to every single one of Seiji’s bouts. Even if they were just internal. Had Seiji thought that Nick was coming to support him, because his parents didn’t come? And if so, how must he have felt when Nick left half-way through his biggest match of the year? When he’d won and no one had come to congratulate him? Because Nick knew that he was the only one who had ever congratulated Seiji on a win, besides Harvard. Harvard had gone out with his parents after his match against Reggie. Nick’s heart cracked a little. He didn’t think, he just ran after Seiji. 

 

He caught up to Seiji on the path to the salle. “Seiji!”, he yelled. “Seiji! Wait! I didn’t mean…”

 

Seiji rounded on him and cut him off. “What now Zero? You’re not finished? You’re going to keep going? Why don’t you tell me more about how arrogant I am? Well,  _ Zero _ , why don’t I tell you how rude I find you? Maybe I should say that you’re the weakest fencer here? Maybe for once, I should tell you that  _ you’re _ the one who doesn’t belong here. You should go home Zero. Nobody wants you here. Least of all,  _ me _ ”. Seiji’s chest was heaving by the time he’d finished. His face was red, and his teeth were bared in an angry snarl.

 

Nick stood stock still. Had he ever made Seiji feel this bad? The answer, sadly, was probably yes. He and Seiji stared at each other. Seiji’s expression was now a little stricken, but when Nick didn’t say anything, his expression hardened once more. Nick turned and left. He couldn’t fix this. Why had he ever thought he could? All he could do, was leave it. 


	4. Riposte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly there folks! I mention two songs in this chapter - Sunrise by Lin Manuel Miranda and Les Champs-Elysees by Joe Dassin. I hope there isnt a copyright issue. I own nothing. In any case, those are the songs if you're interested. I am now going to write a note on translation. If this doesn't interest you, feel free to skip ahead and I hope you enjoy the chapter. For those of you who are interested (or who I suspect may speak foreign languages) I put a translation in there of the first verse of Les Champs-Elysees. It's my own and I wanted you all to know that it isn't a fully faithful translation. I kept the general sense and meaning of the sentences, but didn't choose the most accurate words, because I wanted to fit my translation as closely as possible to the rhyme and the scansion of the song for the purpose of its use in the story. You'll understand when you get to that bit. If my translation offends you (not in the actual offensive way, but in the "I cant believe this translation it's so awful" way), feel free to comment and tell me so. French is my fourth language, so it's likely that if you're feeling the need to correct me, you're right about whatever it is. Anyway, if you want a more faithful translation, you can find one online here: http://www.madbeppo.com/french-songs/aux-champs-elysees/ I looked for the best one I could find, but you may know a better one. If you do, hmu in the comments. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Nick walked to the fields behind the salle and sat down heavily in the middle of the grass, hugging his knees. Seiji’s face as he yelled at him was floating through his mind. Angry, but also somewhat defensive. He hated himself. He did that to Seiji. And for what? To stop liking him? No. That wouldn’t have worked, and Nick hadn’t even wanted it to. Nick was just a coward who didn’t want to face his own feelings. Seiji’s face as Nick had turned to leave was what hurt the most. He’d been anguished. And now Nick didn’t think they’d ever talk about it. When he went back to the room Seiji will have composed himself again, and for the rest of their time together everything would be cold and impossibly distant. Nick groaned in frustration. He’d wanted this, hadn’t he? No more watching Seiji’s bouts, no more night time chats, no more shy interactions or fights in the supply closet. And that was...good. Nick sighed. Of course it wasnt good. In fact, it sounded awful. But how to fix things? Nick knew. If he wanted to make things better he needed to confess. But the problem was, that could also make things much, _much_ worse. Then things would be awkward and possibly no better than before.

He decided he wouldn't go back, for now. Luckily he’d worn his hoodie outside. Nick patted the pockets hopefully, to see if he’d left a pair of headphones in them. He had. He took out his phone and plugged them in, putting on some angry Columbian bass that he’d heard a lot of at his old school. It suited his mood. He couldn’t really tell when one song ended and another began, and consequently, Nick quickly lost track of time. It was chillier once he lost the light and school fields were out of bounds after dark, but Nick couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d do anything to avoid having to go back to the dorm and face Seiji.

 

* * *

 

After a while he felt better enough to put on music that was less angry, but it definitely wasn’t happy. He chose Sunrise, by Lin Manuel Miranda. It just seemed to fit. The opening chords had barely played, however, when he felt a presence next to him. He looked up to find Seiji standing at a small distance from him. Nick weathered the shock that Seiji was the one to reach out. He met Seiji’s eyes. His expression was unsure and a little sad. Nicks must have matched because the next thing he knew, Seiji had come to sit beside him. He didn’t say anything. So Nick unpaused the song and offered Seiji one of the ear pieces. Seiji took it wordlessly, just as Mandy Gonzalez’s voice filtered in through Nicks single earpiece.

 

_Are you ready to try again?_

_I think I’m ready._

 

Nick nearly laughed at how perfect it was, except he worried that it would undermine the message which he genuinely did want to give Seiji. He wanted to try again. He watched Seiji for a reaction. He was fairly impassive, though he did seem to be listening to the lyrics.

 

_Dolor._

_Pain._

_That’s right._

 

Quite suddenly Seiji reached out a hand, asking for Nicks phone. He paused the music. Nick swallowed, bracing himself. “Nicholas I…”, Seiji stopped. Tried again. “I never… I don’t…”. He was looking at the ground. Bless him. Nick put his hand on Seiji’s arm and Seiji lifted his gaze to Nicks. He didn’t push his hand off, which was more than Nick was expecting.

Nick took a deep breath. He needed to say it now. “I’m sorry, Seiji”, Nick said. “I was rude to you, and you didn’t deserve it. Not even a little. I…”. It was Nick’s turn to pause. He couldn’t confess. He just couldn’t. Instead he chose to address something else. “Seiji there’s nothing wrong with you”. Seiji snorted and Nick blushed. “That didn’t come out right. I mean that you’re... perfect”. Nick went white. “No, I mean, you don’t need to change or… it’s ok that you’re…” Nick had dug himself a hole, but Seiji didn’t seem to mind. He had the tiniest of smiles on his face. Nick was astounded. He loved it, he decided. A shyly smiling Seiji was possibly the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He felt his heart beat a little faster. Nick didn’t try to keep going, he just put his hand out and Seiji returned his phone. There were still things unsaid, but until he found the courage to say them, the music could bridge the gap. He pressed play.

 

_Llamame._

_Call me._

_Azul._

_Blue._

_Amame._

_Love me._

_Perhaps I do._

 

Nick felt Seiji react. Then the moment when the music lifts, the reason Nick liked this song when he first heard it.

 

_So how do you say kiss me?_

 

Seiji went still beside him. It was the kind of still you go when you watch the sunrise, when you’ve been told the best news ever and you don’t know how to react, when you’re just about to be kissed. It was an awed stillness. Seiji liked the song. Nick was pleased with that. He felt the night change around them. Nick was hyper aware of Seiji next to him, just as he could feel Seiji’s awareness of him in turn. They didn’t acknowledge it. Nick didn’t know what was happening. He didn’t know how to talk to Seiji, now that it seemed talking was necessary. He couldn’t revert to his old teasing and evasion tactics. He needed to say something meaningful. He was just scared.

 

_So how do you say help me?_

_Ayudame._

 

Nick looked sideways at Seiji, who was openly looking at him. They locked eyes for an awkward moment, before Nick started to laugh. He looked at Seiji sheepishly. He thought maybe he really could use some help. Seiji took his phone without asking this time and paused the music before another song could come on. He turned to Nick, but what he said wasn’t what Nick was expecting at all.

“Where did you hear that song?”, he asked. “I didn’t think you were the type for showtunes”.

Nick huffed a laugh. “I’m not”, he said. “A Latino family lived next to me and my mom. Their kids were all younger than me, but they were obsessed with this guy. It was all they ever played. I heard this one and liked it quite a lot”. Nick smiled to think of them now. Eugene’s family really reminded him of them, actually. Nick hoped Seiji didn’t ask him why he liked this particular song. He wasn’t sure he could answer that question. Seiji, however, seemed happy to leave it at that. He realised then that he’d involuntarily let slip that he didn’t live with his dad. He found he didn’t mind, though.

Seiji looked at him. “I listen to a lot of classical music. It’s all my parents used to play, but when I lived in France I started to really like French music. It’s got a lot of personality. Like they’re all somehow love songs, but not necessarily to people. They're love songs to Paris, or to laziness or to themselves” Nick could hardly believe his ears. Seiji was talking to him. _Actually talking_. He seemed unsure that he was doing it right. Nick realised that Seiji had probably never made small talk, or talked about personal things casually. He felt honoured to be the person that Seiji shared his thoughts with.

“Will you play me one of them?”, Nick asked. Seiji paused and then nodded. He took Nicks headphones and plugged them into his own phone, handing Nick one of the ear pieces. “This ones called _les_ _champs-elysees._ ”

“What does it mean?”

“The Champs-Elysees. It’s a famous street in Paris. The name literally means 'fields of elysium', but since the song is actually about that specific street, it would be silly to translate it literally…”, Seiji paused, seeming to realise he was rambling. “I just…”. Seiji met Nick’s eyes and gave him a helpless shrug, smiling shyly. Nick felt oddly fond of the song before he’d even heard it.

It started playing with some piano chords in a melody that seemed to say "content". Nick wouldn't have picked t out as something Seiji would like, but hearing it, it fit like a glove. It had an old soul. Just like Seiji. Not Nick’s kind of music, but he could see the appeal. “Can you translate it for me?”, Nick asked Seiji. To Nicks complete astonishment, Seiji began to sing with the track, but with his own English translation of the words.

 

_“I wandered down the avenue_

_My heart open to something new_

_I felt like saying hello to whomever I saw._

_Whoever, and that was you_

_No matter what I said to you_

_I only had to talk to you_

_To win your heart_

 

_Aux champs elysees_

_Aux champs elysees_

_In the sun, in the rain_

_At midnight or at midday_

_You’ll find all that you’re looking for_

_On the champs elysees_ ”

 

Nick was agape. Seiji had a rich baritone and his voice seemed to melt over the notes. Nicholas couldn’t sing at all, and hearing Seiji translate the words with the song felt intimate in a way he wasn’t expecting. It was beautiful. Seiji was blushing furiously and the song had moved on.

Nick didn’t know what possessed him. He just knew he had to hear Seiji sing again. “Sing it in French”, Nick said. Seiji looked like he’d rather die, but Nick stared him down and when the third verse began, his voice lifted with the song, in French this time. It was indescribable. Nick didn’t know how he’d survived all the years if his life without Seiji singing to him in French. The delicate vowels were made so beautiful in his mouth, the sibilance in _champs-elysees_  was incredible sexy. Nick found himself wanting to kiss Seiji. Perhaps he had subconsciously wanted it before, but this was the first time he’d had the conscious thought. Nick held Seiji’s eyes while he sang, and Seiji grew redder with every note. His voice broke at the end, and Nick paused the song, so that another didn’t play. He took out his ear piece, and then reached and took Seiji’s out. His fingers brushed Seiji’s cheek as he did so, and Seiji drew in a breath. Nick had moved closer to Seiji, but he didnt move back, just stayed there, in his space. “That”, said Nick, “was the most stunning thing I have ever heard”. Seiji ducked his head.

“I used to…”, Seiji’s voice stuck and he cleared his throat before trying again. “I used to have lessons, before I went to France. My father insisted that I also take singing and ballet when I was very young”.

Nick shook his head. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“I can’t seem to talk to you”.

The words made Nick's stomach drop. He wanted… he wanted so badly for them to mean… Could Seiji possibly feel the same about Nick as Nick felt about him? He didn’t say anything, just watched as Seiji looked at the ground before continuing.

“You… You fascinate me. There’s always something else to know. The way you fence…”, Seiji shook his head. “You’re special. But I don’t know how to talk to you. How to tell you the things I want to. None of it makes any sense when I imagine it actually being said out loud, it…”

“Only makes sense inside your own head”, Nick finished for him. “I understand. That’s how I feel about you too”. Nick paused. “I didn’t mean a word of what I said today”.

“I didn’t mean most of what I said either”.

_Most_. Nick suddenly remembered part of Seiji’s outburst earlier. “I’m sorry I left your match today Seiji”.

“I don’t care”, Seiji said immediately, his defences slamming back up. He looked a little sheepish then. “I mean”, Seiji corrected, “that it doesn’t matter”.

“It does”, said Nick, nodding emphatically. “I should have stayed. I didn’t realise until today that it might mean something to you to have a friend watch your bouts”.

“I don’t have friends”, Seiji replied. Nick didn’t have anything to say to that. It was his fault. He’d called them friends and then treated Seiji awfully because he was scared of his own feelings.

“I thought…” Seiji began. “I thought that you had done it on purpose. That you had taught me to expect you and then purposefully left, during my biggest match yet this season, just to play with me. I thought your support had been a lie”.

Nicks heart cracked at that. He owed Seiji the truth. “Seiji”, Nick said, “I have a confession to make. You’re… you’re giving me too much credit. I watched them because I enjoyed watching you move, not because I was being selfless and supportive. I just love the way you fence. Your skill. It gave me this… feeling. I don’t really know what… to watch you, it felt...”. Nick gave up. He couldn’t describe it. He’d be here forever if he tried.

Seiji looked like he was digesting something big. “If that is the case”, he said slowly, “why did you leave today?” He looked at Nick then. This was important to Seiji.

Nick took a deep breath. “I realised…” Nick began, trying to think how to word it, “that my feelings were more than I’d bargained for.”


	5. Touché

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are! The very last one. Warning for those of you who might need it, this chapter is (very mildly) racy. Its fairly chaste compared to many other fics on here. Its actually very chaste compared to those fics, but yeah just thought I should say. Thank you to all of you who have been reading this while I've been posting it - you've all been encouraging and helpful and wonderful!. You've made me want to keep occasionally writing fics and posting them on here, so thank you for that. Anyway, enjoy the last chapter and if anyone wants to gush about Fence with me then hmu, because this fic was controlling my addiction and once it's done I don't know how I'm going to deal with it! Its also super short, Im really sorry. Still trying to work out the chapter thing!

 

Nick held his breath. If it was bad, let it be over quickly. Seiji looked at him, long and hard. His cheeks were visibly stained. Not that Nick could talk. Nick knew that he was showing all his fear on his face. Seiji seemed to make a decision. He shifted infinitesimally closer to Nick. Nick’s heart kicked into a gallop.

“Embrasse moi”, he said in a whisper.

“What?”

“That’s how you say kiss me, in French”. Seiji had leaned even closer to him, his voice changing in the tiny space.

Nicks stomach flopped. He brought a hand up to Seiji’s cheek, and Seiji’s eyelids fluttered shut. “Say it again”, Nick whispered.

Seiji’s eyes opened, meeting Nick’s, and they were _warm_ . “Nicholas”, Seiji said, pronouncing it in French without the _S_. “Embrasse moi”.

Nick lifted his other hand to Seiji’s jaw and kissed him. It was barely more than a peck, but Seiji’s mouth was soft and Nick suddenly felt the same feeling he got when he watched Seiji fence. He separated from Seiji, shocked by the force of his want. Seiji was staring at him wide-eyed, pupils blown. His mouth was slightly open. Seiji’s fingers tangled in his hoodie, then and Nick dove back in. He moved fully into Seiji’s space and began kissing him in earnest. Seiji’s mouth opened under his and Nicholas was tasting him. His other arm came up to hold Seiji’s hip and suddenly Seiji had grabbed him by the waist with both hands and pulled him hard against his chest. Nick collapsed on top of him on the hill, but caught himself with one arm and held his weight off Seiji as he kissed him senseless, or _got_ kissed senseless _by_ him. At this point he couldn’t tell. Nick was weak and shaky. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. He could feel and hear Seiji’s ragged breaths and when he slipped his hand into Seiji’s hair and gave a gentle tug, Seiji moaned and Oh. Dear. God. If that wasn’t the hottest thing Nick had ever heard… Nick tore himself away from Seiji’s mouth and began kissing his neck. Seiji made little sounds as Nick nipped at the tender skin there and when Nick bit the juncture between his neck and shoulder, Seiji gasped and his back arched. Nick was done. His breath was ragged as he leaned close and, between kisses to the spot behind Seiji’s ear, which seemed to be particularly sensitive, he panted “our dorm… now”.

As soon as they made it inside, Nick had Seiji pressed up against the door. Seiji chuckled as Nick went straight for his neck again, and Seiji stuck his knee between Nicks legs. Nick knees nearly gave at that. He gasped and pulled back. Seiji looked wrecked. Nick leaned in and crushed Seiji’s mouth under his own. Seiji’s hands made their way under Nicks shirt and began exploring his back. He pulled Nick closer and closer to him and his tongue began to battle Nicks. Nick let him in and then nearly died at the feeling of having Seiji’s tongue inside his mouth. He moaned and heard Seiji answer him with a humming sound of pure satisfaction. Seiji pushed them off the door and onto his bed. Nick fell gracelessly onto his back and Seiji followed him, catching himself on one arm. Nick noted Seiji’s form, only truly appreciating Seiji’s physicality now that he was on top of him. Lean and muscled, Nick moved his hands over Seiji’s ribs and to his back. Seiji’s pupils were dilated and his cheeks held a gorgeous flush. Nick reckoned he looked a mess in comparison. Utterly destroyed by Seiji Katayama’s mouth. Seiji leaned down and kissed him, slow and languid. The change in pace made Nick’s toes curl. He was kissing Seiji Katayama. He was _kissing Seiji Katayama._ Nick broke the kiss. He stared in awe at Seiji. “I can’t believe I’m kissing you”, he said. “I can’t believe I’m _in your bed_ ”. Seiji chuckled.

“Well not for long”, he said, though he was still panting. “I will eventually need to sleep”. He didn’t look like he actually wanted to sleep. Nick would do anything to keep going, but he knew Seiji’s schedule. It was already 10.30. Seiji would have a tough time getting up if they continued. _God, since when had he cared about Seiji's stupid schedule?_ Seiji leaned back down to take his mouth and for some moments, Nick let him. He savoured the feeling of having Seiji’s warm tongue against his, of Seiji’s fingers in his hair, but then, with a heroic effort, he pulled away again.

“We need to sleep, Seiji.” Seiji sighed, but nodded. Nick got up on shaky legs and pulled Seiji to him, simply holding him. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Seiji Katayama" he whispered. With a jolt, Nick realised that it was absolutely true. Seiji made him happy... even when he was being grouchy. Nick actually _liked_ it when he was grouchy. He chuckled when he thought that earlier that day he'd thought liking Seiji was a bad thing. Seiji was right. Nick _was_  an " _idiot_." Seiji had completely relaxed into his body, though Nick realised they were both still trembling. Seiji seemed so at peace. Nick said "You do belong here. I’ll always watch your matches. No matter what, you’ll always have me”. Seiji pulled back and looked him in the eye.

“I’m sorry for the things I said”. Seiji looked more apologetic than Nick had ever seen him. Nick pulled him in for a chaste kiss. It was sweet and it said everything that Nick didn’t know how to say.

“I forgave you even as you said them. You were mad”.

 

* * *

 

When the lights were out Nick was still feeling shaky. And the memory of Seiji’s muscles bunching under his fingers, of his mouth, wet from kissing, stopped him from even hoping to sleep. He lay awake, thinking of Seiji behind the recently mended curtain. His wonderful… Nick sat bolt upright. He’d forgotten something of tremendous importance.

“Seiji”, he whispered. “I can’t sleep”.

“I can”, came the reply.

“Seiji”, Nick said. “Will you go out with me?”

“To town?”

“No, dumbass! Will you be my boyfriend?”

There was silence on the other side of the curtain.

And then “Yes”.

* * *

Nick watched all of Seiji’s matches without fail. The ache he felt while watching Seiji was still there, but now it was pride. His _boyfriend_ was the best fencer in the country. Jesse didn’t count. Nick knew Seiji would beat him. And Nick would be there to support him all the way through.


End file.
